Monday, March 08, 2010


Tanna has proposed a new challenge of sorts for women, blogging women, to GET REAL (she explains it well on her page, so click on the GET REAL to read).

I see it time and time again that ladies, or just people in general, want to come off as so perfect to the rest of the world. If they are perfect, great, but I am not. So today, I will start getting real, even in my blogs where it is so easy to only show the sunshine in life.

Okay, we will start from the beginning...Antonio and I have had a goal for a few years that 2010 would be the year we would move. Antonio didn't want to even LOOK at a house until 2010, but I had to do a little window shopping. At the end of Nov, I found this house....

It had pretty much everything we were looking for, so we decided to call an agent and go see it. At the beginning of Dec. we put in an offer on the house. At that point we started living on a tight budget and watching every penny so that we could put it into furniture and decorations for this house when we closed. Negotiations took MUCH longer than usual and we didn't have a contract on the house until Jan 14th.

Also during this time, Dec 28th, I got a promotion at work and a 9% raise. To say I was excited would be a down play on things. Antonio and I talked about how things were finally falling into place for us and life was great! Our marriage was stronger than ever, new house on the horizon, new raise, kids great, etc.

Then on Jan 29th, life changed. I lost my job that day. It was obviously very unexpected. Because of my sudden job loss, this meant that we would not be able to buy our house. I did, and still do, feel so bad about this all. It was ME who lost my job, changed our financial situation, and therefore the reason we will not be moving right now.

SO, because I wasn't expecting this, I obviously had not been looking for another job. After a little discussion, we decided it would be best for me to go apply for unemployment. Oh how many times I have passed judgement at the thought of people applying for unemployment. At the time, I have never known someone to go get it (but just the thought of it).

If I had to describe how it went applying for unemployment, I would say it was the most humbling and humiliating thing I have ever experienced. Not even childbirth with all my goods out for everyone to see was as humbling....sorry, but true. It was humbling because I obviously didn't ever think this would 'happen to me'. Humiliating because of all of the thoughts I had in the past about this very thing. Here is a picture from my phone that I took while standing in line. I took it because I knew it would be something that I would always have to look back at. I never want to get on my 'high horse' again, but if I do, I will see this.

After 2.5 LONG hours in line, I was told to come back the next day and EARLY. The office opened at 8 but they line started at 6:30am. So, the next morning I was in line at 6:15 and finally got out at 10:30. I was able to talk to a few people around me both days and hear their stories and quickly realized these were not people that were 'milking the system' like I had pictured. I never thought I would watch the sunrise with a complete stranger, but I did.

Anyway, I am currently still unemployed, but looking for something new and exciting. Antonio and I know that this was all in God's plan for us and HIS timing is perfect! Our faith is strong and we are unshakeable!

What's the saying, "You make plans and God laughs." I think that's it, or something like it. 2010 may NOT be the year we move, but we have so many things to be thankful for. I am sure you are thinking 'yeah, yeah', so for you nay-sayers, let me SHOW you how great God is....

*First of all, we did not close on the new house, so we were able to get out of our contract AND get our earnest money back ($2500). At the time our agent was stumped by why we were asked to put up so much Earnest money, but now we know.

*I said earlier that we started living on a TIGHT budget at the beginning of Dec. Dec is usually not a great month for us. I love to buy the 'perfect gift' for family and usually tend to go overboard, but this year I stuck to the budget.

*The house note on the new house would have been more than double our current payment, so we are thankful that negotiations took SO long and the closing date was SO far away(even though I was so frustrated with the process while it was happening)!

*We have seen so much cash money coming into our house in the last 5 weeks(earnest money, tax return, money for kids clothes that I sold, etc). There have been no handouts from family or friends (other than my dad letting me drive his car for a while, THANKS DAD!). Not that they wouldn't help if we needed it, but we have just been blessed so far.

*I can't and won't speak for Antonio, but for some weird reason, as crazy as our situation is right now, I have been at peace with everything since it all happened. Although I do feel guilty about us not moving, I have not stressed out about it. Antonio has been very supportive through it and that alone is priceless. Our faith is in God and we know that we will be fine.

*Since we were planning to move, we did several things to fix up our house that we had put off...our biggest one was finishing out the laundry room, sheetrocking, new tile flooring, painting, etc. Now we will be able to enjoy these fixes.

Those are just a FEW of the things I am thankful for. This situation has caused us to take a step back and really look at what our future holds and what our goals are. I am truly content with our current situation and can't wait to see what God has in our future. needs vs. wants

While we are being real, I was taking a picture of some of the kid's toys lined up the other day and when i was looking at the picture i realize how horrible the window frame looked. Living in an older house means that EVERYTHING needs to be painted, but we had never painted some of the window frames. Here is the before....

And I went ahead and painted it right away. Here's the after...
AND one more REAL picture. My house has never been, and probably never will be spotless. Sorry, it's the truth. We had a POD that was packed with many boxes for the big move, and then we had to unpack it. We did well and I went thru many of the containers unpacked, but THESE are still sitting there just staring at me. sigh....and the rug is one that we bought for the 'new house'. I plan to tackle this area this week and in order to be held accountable, I will post a picture of this same area next week.
So, it's YOUR turn.....I DARE you to BE REAL!!


Kimberly said...

I know God has an awesome plan in store for you! Your positive attitude and faith are such an encouragement to me! Glad you are ALWAYS so real!!

Kristi said...

Wow!! You have such a great spirit about things!! God knows the plans he has for us - and they are not usually what we have for ourselves!! Stay strong, and I know you will find a job soon!! Texas?! :)

JRH said...

what a brave thing to be so honest! i know that God has a super plan for you and your family :) you are in my thoughts! keep your head up missy! you have lots to be proud of...esp. that beautiful family of yours. :) much love!