Christmas Eve, we got back home about 10:30pm and put the kids to bed. As soon as Antonio and I thought the kids were both asleep, we had to start putting Santa stuff out. Well, we had decided earlier in the day that Santa was NOT coming to see Tatum because she hadn't been listening for weeks, she wouldn't pick up her room, and she wouldn't even put away her toys after she played with them. Earlier on Christmas Eve, I had asked Tatum to help me clean her room and she pitched a fit! She cried, she whined, and she told me she wasn't going to. So, me being the rational mom who was tired of hearing Tatum tell me she didn't want to clean her room or take care of her toys, decided to use this moment as a teachable moment. So, I got a big black garbage bag and put all of her toys, books, etc. into the bag. I thought as soon as she saw me doing this, she would give in and decide to clean her room and help me organize things so we could add new toys that she would get over Christmas. Well, let me tell you, she didn't care one bit that I was throwing away all of her toys. She kept telling me she didn't like her toys anyway, she didn't want them anymore, etc.
I must admit, by this point I was really mad...mad at her reaction, and mad because I felt like I was doing something wrong as her mother and the way we are raising her. I don't want her to be a spoiled brat and not appreciate her things. After the year we have been through with me losing my job, we have really had to cut back, but we are still so blessed to be able to provide things for the kids (in moderation), yet here she is acting like this.
I suggested to Antonio that Santa not come because we have been preaching to her that Anderson is telling Santa if she is good or bad and only GOOD kids get visits from Santa. To my surprise, he agreed with me.
After they were in bed, we wrote a note to Tatum from Santa that explained why Santa didn't leave her anything. Here it is below.
Santa left her note beside the empty milk cup and cookie crumbs.
Santa did come see Mateo though. This is what he got from Santa.
We weren't sure how they would react the next morning. Antonio and I were prepared for Tatum to really break down because Santa left things for Mateo and not for her. Here is Mateo's reaction...
Antonio read the letter to Tatum and there was no reaction at all on her face. She did give a little shy smile, but did not breakdown as we had expected her to.
She then told us she didn't care because she had her "RAT" (aka zhu zhu pet) that my friend Amy had given her. REALLY?!?! sigh. Tatum wanted me to take her picture with her RAT (as she calls it) in front of the tree. Forgive her crazy eyes...this is her new fake smile..lol
After the Santa stuff, we opened presents from each other and Tatum did get stuff from us, so she was fine.
I know Antonio and I probably sound like the meanest parents ever, but I know I felt like if we are preaching and threatening our kids with "Santa won't come see you if you are bad." but never follow through with it, we are doing more harm than good. We still have her 'Santa gifts' packed up and may give them to her little by little if she earns them by keeping her room clean. I still have not given her anything out of the black garbage bags from when I packed everything up. However, our kids got SO MUCH from family at Christmas that I don't know if she has missed any of her old toys.
She did come home last week from school and told us that she had to clean her room without us asking and she went into her room and did just that. She made her bed and everything, so this may have worked and she may have gotten the message here?
1 comment:
i think you guys are loving parents! i think this was a good lesson. i am sure she learned!! i wish more parents were like you guys!
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